Visiting the city of Melbourne recently ... took me back to days of living a very different life many moons ago in London. I simply am not a city bunny. The noise ... the traffic ... vasts amounts of busy bees trooping up and down the streets ... urgghh! Nope ... just simply not my cup of tea! I remember how in London you could not even check to see if a soul lying in the gutter was dead or alive incase they attacked you or leapt up and ran away with your handbag in tow. The Streets of London for me me were so full of life and yet I felt so very alone. The sadness that some had to endure ... ignored by the wealth that overflowed took my soul to a dark place that I could not understand ... and one evening whilst driving to work, loosing all patience at the ninetieth set of traffic lights I took a sharp left across the three lanes of traffic and turned around for home ... packed my bags and went back to good old Bognor Regis for a few years where a pair of shoes rarely adorned my feet.
Walking Melbourne's beautiful pavements took me back to those times and I reminisced about a shy insecure young girl with all her hangups and foibles ... desperately trying to find her place in the world. I felt so very grown up at the time with the world balancing precariously on my shoulders ... and yet I was so very very young in my knowledge of who I thought I was and how I wanted to present myself to the world.
The insecurities of yesteryear have thankfully long gone. I had such a need in those days to be approved of ... to be liked ... to be the life and soul of the party ... the funny one ... the desire to fit in amongst all the stunningly beautiful actress friends.
I took little time to Love myself ... I felt it more important to be loved by others. I allowed egotistical directors to make me feel small and useless ... whilst their powerful position strengthened their own fears of themselves. I endured humiliation from those who assumed they were better than me and I watched from a place deep within myself as I struggled to belong. And yet ... what I portrayed on the outside was so very far removed from the timid soul inside of myself that more often than not wanted to be on another planet far away from the trials and tribulations that were served up to earthlings!
BUT THAT WAS THEN!! ... AND THIS IS NOW ... Being in Melbourne allowed me to recognise what an enormous adventure I have been on since those 'lost days'. I cannot help but feel so very blessed living the life I live. The beautiful true human beings in my world confirm that my presence in it is worth while and the song my heart sings is as one who has recently fallen in Love. The changes in my approach to myself and my attitude have climbed a ladder so high that I could have invented the word vertigo! Knowing that I have as much of a right to be here as the next person is thrilling and exciting. My contribution to the whole makes just as big an indentation as any others desire to change the way things are ... it is just about as important as important can be. It doesn't matter who knows of my existence or indeed what I may or may not do ... it just matters that I am alive NOW in this time ... being ME. And it's the same for each and everyone of us. To stand strong in our own belief of ourselves knowing that as ONE (individual) we are making a difference. We are bringing about the change we came down here to change. Just by Being ourselves ... without any concern of what another thinks about it. Without any illusions of what we are not. We are growing into our new skin ... we are fitting into our Light bodies with a grace that illuminates the path ahead. We are lifting our own spirits and therefore that of others into a force field that we are learning to dwell within. We need not one persons approval ... for I have learned we cannot please everyone all of the time ... so why try ... just wake up each morning with gratitude for the space you have moved into ... for all the lessons you have learned along the way ... often in clever disguise ... but none the less ... there to assist you on this journey that we have named 'life'.
Soon we shall sense the nearness of home stronger than ever before , even though through these lifting times it can feel a billion Light years away ... it is really only a few deep breathes.
So keep breathing ... keep topping yourselves up with Love for yourself and let the miraculous wonders of 'life within this universe' listen to your hearts desires and present you with the opportunities to fulfill them.
Golden Rays everyone . Thanks for listening!!