Me here! Remember me? Well, well, well … what a tangled web we weave!
In my last channelling with the FOL they said :
"There, of course, are many reasons for this interlude. Some of which will become apparent in the time we choose to remain silent with you."
Something quite interesting HAS come up in this break from them.I would like to share with you … because I think this is such a time of HAVING to look at debris/residue that we think we have cleared and yet is still hanging around waiting for that final purge. We KNOW we now have to rid our BEINGS of any old baggage and if we have chosen to ignore this … or … don’t know it’s there … then at this time in particular, it is going to come up and bite us on the bum … slap us on the chops … in fact do exactly what is required in order for us to deal with it NOW. Because it is IMPORTANT that we do it NOW!
So there I was… four months down the track from preparing my workshops and getting them up to scratch and almost packed and ready to go on my first venture, five hours up the coast to do the first three events. Yet … in Truth … the stress over this last period of time that I had brought on myself … what with one thing and another … had left me feeling rather lacking in the ‘vibration exuberant’ department and to be honest , I was feeling a little hypocritical going out to share a day full of ‘Love Light and Laughter’ as the workshop is called.
Bookings were pretty low also which only added to my present demeanour. However the hour was drawing nigh and I was geeing myself up for whatever was to unfold. Two days before departure I felt the very moment when I was struck by a virus ( the same one that I had three years ago for three months!!) I get it now and again, but just for a few days here and there. I spent the next day ‘wiped out’ completely in a place of disbelief! Was I going to have to cancel? After all this work? How could I let people down? Well the long and the short of it was YES! I was! (Every cloud has a silver lining in that due to small numbers, there wasn’t that much cancelling to do!!) This did not however stop me from throwing a tanty to the heavens at some point during the second night! Outside in the moonlight, giving it some jip!! Real full on ‘What do you want from me? I can’t do this anymore! I wanna go home’ indulgence. You know the type I’m sure. (I hope!) It doesn’t happen often but when it does I’m pretty childish! Yet, there was another part of me that just accepted that ‘all is as should be’ and reasons would become apparent. And they have!!
I had asked myself the question ‘self sabotage’? And thought in my arrogance ... ‘No! Why would I? I have worked so hard, I want to do this … etc’ … Yet ‘self sabotage’ indeed it was … it seems!
Two lovely ladies (twins) have come on board lately to help me get White Cloud out there. I have been a bit of a one man band for quite a while and finding it all a bit much . So ‘Heaven’ sent me ‘The Dynamic Duo’. They are quite a pair … full of fun and kindness of heart … and have been so giving of their time to assist in the cause. They are also ‘reconnective’ healers and offered their services to see if they could assist in ridding me of my malady!
And there it all began … Talking before hand to see why I may have created this illness, I mentioned how last week I had said that I feel a bit of a fraud considering the way I am feeling at the moment and the workshop is consists of teaching how to be filled with ‘Love Light and Laughter’ … as I said the word ‘Fraud’, the two of them almost jumped out of their seats, as they said it felt like a dagger to the heart … which led on of course, to the deep hurt I ‘felt’ during the Oct 14th 2008 event when my name got plastered all over the internet as FRAUD!! ( and sadly it still remains … the plastering all over the internet I mean, not the deep hurt). Out poured the tears from the "I’ll deal with this later bucket!"
No need for me to indulge what it was like for me at that time … I am sure most of you have an idea …
So then we went on to the actual healing, during which I felt a sharp pain across my torso. I asked myself what it was and as clear as a bell I heard ‘HATE’. WHOA NEDDY! It seemed too that I have been harbouring some of the hate that was directed at me and let’s face it there was an ‘on special’ load of that little puppy!!!
When we talked afterwards I admitted that perhaps I hadn’t allowed myself to deal with the humiliation etc … ( believe me it was there … I just didn’t deal with it fully!!) but also in my TRUTH as I said at the time and will continue to say … it was the LOVE … the HUGE amount of LOVE that was sent that brought me so very quickly out of the hole I crawled in … and for that I will be eternally grateful.
That being said … I was able to thank the virus for showing me its reason for presenting itself once again, and let it know that it was now ok to go on its merry way, having fulfilled its purpose. Two days later I feel almost as good as new … and BOY does that FEEL GOOD!!
My purpose in telling you all this is to hopefully help others to see the deeper meaning behind what may or may not be going on for them at this time. It is indeed such an intense time for so many of us and even though some/many are in a great space … they find they are still having to ‘look at’ that which is presenting itself to the self in order to make sure that we are becoming BEINGS of LIGHT … not BEINGS of heavy. We simply cannot have these issues within us as we move into the Higher vibration … so … it’s time to chuck ‘em, out!!
I do FEEL so much Lighter (sadly the scales don’t agree …… yet!!!) . Sometimes we feel too proud, or we feel we should know better by now … than to let our barriers down and admit to our deepest feelings about things. We are brought up to believe that ‘not to cry’ is being strong when in actual fact it is a great weakness. WE NEED TO LET OUR TEARS FLOW!
White Cloud always talks of water as LOVE … why would we not want that LOVE within us to stream forth? So much better out than in, as they say!!
I FEEL now that’s done that I shall be getting the ‘nod’ from the ‘chaps upstairs’ any day now , and as always when we have had a break, I get quite excited at the thought. And from past experience it seems my vibration will have turned up a notch also … well of course it will have done … I’ve just gave it permission to do so … by facing my fears.
I would like just to add at this point … in my TRUTH … I have NOT ONE REGRET about sending out the Oct 14th message … not one! It changed ME and my life. It has helped me evolve into a Lighter BEING and along the way I have made so many astoundingly beautiful friends that I have never met …
I am so very blessed to be in the position I am. I do not know … on this level of myself … why I was chosen for this particular mission … yet I do know that I shall continue to bring through these profound messages to the very best of my ability for as long as I am required to do so.
To EVERYONE who I have encountered along the pathway of this amazing journey I send out a pulse wave of LOVE from my heart to yours … for without you … I would not have the strength to carry on … and that’s a fact!
LOVE LIGHT AND LAUGHTER TO YOU … and I FEEL back ‘in it’ now. Nothing like a good old shake up to get things back into perspective!!
Golden Rays ….